How Minnesota parents deal with children not wanting to live with them

Parents should be able to understand why their child might choose to live with one parent over the other.

When parents divorce in Minnesota, sometimes children have a say in which parent to live with. It is common for parents to feel hurt upon learning their children do not desire to reside with them. Knowing how to cope with and understand such a situation can make things a bit more bearable and realize what is best for the child and the family as a whole.

Talk with the child

If the child is willing to talk with the parent about the reasons for not wanting to live with her or him, the parent should be willing to listen. Once the parent understands the child's reasons, it could lessen the pain. Parents should be sure not to argue or disagree with the child's reasons, recognizing that the child has a different point of view and unique perspective on the situation.

Consider counseling or mediation

There could be an underlying issue that influenced the son or daughter's decision to live with a specific parent. Rather than ignore that problem, it might be beneficial for the entire family to consider mediation or counseling to sort things out and reach an understanding. Sometimes children and teens may not feel comfortable talking with parents, but they might be more willing to open up to a mediator or therapist. Without talking things out, there is a possibility that the situation will get worse or remain buried for several years to come.

Shift perspectives

It is also best to look at the situation from a teenager or child's point of view. Just like parents have their own issues to deal with, the same is true of their kids. Everyone has different responses and coping mechanisms, and working to better comprehend those responses and mechanisms can bring around understanding and clarity.

Recognize the fact that reasons could be purely practical

Rather than making a decision from a place of emotion, the child could be influenced by practicality. For instance, the child's school or friends might be located closer to a certain parent. Sons might prefer to live with their fathers when they reach a certain age, and daughters might prefer to live with their mothers. This is one reason it is so important to talk with kids, to better avoid having the wrong idea about their decision to live with one parent over another.

Sometimes Minnesota families need a bit of help when it comes to deciding what is best for everyone, parents and kids. Attorneys can be instrumental in helping to make the right moves and keeping everyone's interests in mind.